note to self: grow up.

It's so very hard to have things weighing heavily on your heart 24/7 and not be able to talk about it.
i'm so tired of it.
Know what else I'm tired of?
people assuming things without actually talking to the people its about to get the truth and then going and gossiping to whoever will listen.
lies.
deception.
people who manipulate others for the fun of it.
family who turns their back on you at the first sign of trouble.

Anyways. this post is about today. Wednesday.
I almost didn't go to bible class tonight. I was tired after working an 11 hr day. I smelt like poop, throw up, sweat, and anything else that a daycare might smell like.
It would have been so easy to just stay home. But I always told myself that it's especially important to go to worship even on the days that I don't feel like it.
I'm glad I went. It was our prayer meeting night where all we do is pray and sing songs.
Each prayer was devoted it a certian blessing that we have as a child of God.

It was that kick in the hineybutt that I needed.

Even though I feel so so very emotionally and physically tired from all the garbage going on, and I feel like things keep being heaped on us to make things worse, I do have many blessings in life and I need to focus on those things more.

its one of those days I have to tell myself to grow up and stop acting so defenseless.
I have an amazing heavenly Father who is there for me and always will be even when others aren't.




I need to start blogging more.
it's a good venting outlet :)